How satisfying is your relationship? This is an attempt to answer that question. It’s the satisfaction you’re getting out of your current relationship, the satisfaction you had gotten in a relationship that ended (such as when the other party has died), or the satisfaction you believe you would have gotten out of a relationship you wish you had.
The measurement is from 0 to 10 cats. In theory, it’s the number of cats a cat lover would need to have to equal the satisfaction of a good (human) relationship.
How many cats?
0 cats – What relationship? I’m not in a relationship.
1 cat – Why do you keep following me around like that?
2 cats – That was fun, but I don’t want to see you again.
3 cats – I do enjoy seeing you on a regular basis.
4 cats – I’ll stay with you for now, but I’m still looking.
5 cats – I’m not in love, but I like having someone to wake up to.
6 cats – We’re in this for the long-term — at least I am.
7 cats – I’ll always be there when you need me.
8 cats – I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
9 cats – You’re the only one I’d ever want to be with.
10 cats – I hope we die at the same time so we can go into the afterlife / the next life / oblivion together.
Popular legend says that for each of us, there is one and only one person out there who is ideal for you — the perfect partner, that completes you in a way no one else ever could. You may not ever meet this person, because they may be on Earth’s other side; or even if you did, they may be a decade or more removed in age, or the wrong gender for the kind of relationship you want to have — but he or she is out there somewhere.
Perhaps not everyone has a soulmate; but by definition, each of us can have only one. A soulmate is a solid 10 on the above scale.
How does a couple get to be soulmates? They simply make a decision, together, in their hearts, that they want to be together, forever. Marrying your soulmate is of course the best that could happen; but marriage is neither necessary nor sufficient to having a soulmate.
When two people decide we’re the only ones for us, together and forever, this creates a “mechanism” between them that binds them. If they should start to drift apart, this mechanism reminds them of their vow and attempts to pull them back together again. (This mechanism is more than a thought but less than a solid object. Exactly what that is is beyond the scope of this discussion.)
Love at first sight
It’s not uncommon, for soulmates, meeting for the first time, to fall instantly in love with each other. That’s because, deep down inside, they know they’ve finally found the one they’ve been looking for.
In other cases, someone falls in love with somebody who reminds them of their soulmate, even though he or she is not the one. You can recognize this kind of relationship because she will be madly in love with him but not he with her (or he with her but not her with him). Although make no mistake; many such relationships do provide a lifetime of happiness.
But in some sad cases, two people will marry and then one of them will finally meet their soulmate — creating a terrible difficulty. Should he or she break their marriage vows and go with the person they’ve always dreamed about? This is one question I don’t want to try to answer.
Reincarnation and soulmates
If you believe in reincarnation, then two people falling in love at first sight is simply nothing more than two people, soulmates from a previous life, finally finding each other at last. (The passage from one lifetime to the next does not break the soulmate connection.)
What if someone is ready to be born into a new baby body but their soulmate is already married and in their 20’s or 30’s? They can try to be born into their sweetie’s family as their son or daughter, so they could be together that way. Could this be the rationale behind the Oedipus and Electra legends?
Cupid’s iron arrow
What if one half of a soulmate relationship wants out? The “dumped” party will hurt, not for a few weeks or months, as would be for an ordinary breakup, but potentially for decades. One version of the Cupid legend says that he carries a few iron arrows in his quiver, to inflict the love wound that does not heal.
But there’s always another chance
If two soulmates become separated — because one has died, or decided they want out, or is simply unavailable — or if they never met in the first place — there’s always a possibility they can meet in a future lifetime. So there’s always another chance — and love will find its way.